Book Review: How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie | Stephen Diagram

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

BUY How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends & Influence People

Techniques in Handling People

  1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
  2. Give honest and sincere appreciation
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want

Six Ways to Make People Like You

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people
  2. Smile
  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
  6. Make the other person feel important; and do it sincerely

Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
  2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re Wrong.”
  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
  4. Begin in a friendly way
  5. Get the other person saying “yes,yes” immediately
  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
  7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
  8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
  9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas an desires
  10. Appeal to the nobler motives
  11. Dramatize your ideas
  12. Throw down a challenge

Give me six hours to chop a tree and I will spend the first four hours sharpening the ax. – Abraham Lincoln

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

  1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
  2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
  5. Let the other person save face
  6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement
  7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
  8. Use Encouragement; Make the fault seem easy to correct
  9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

Dale Carnegie on Criticism

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment. Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain; and most fools do, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

Thomas Carlyle said, “A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

Dale Carnegie on Dealing with People

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion; creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

Dale Carnegie on Influence

The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

Dale Carnegie on the Secret of Success

“Success lies in the ability to see their point of view and their angle, as well as making them see yours.

BUY How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie How to Win Friends & Influence People

10 Comments Add yours

  1. robgradens says:

    I think this book is mentioned in the dialogue of a Roman Polanski horror film, _The Ninth Gate_. The witch-girl is shown reading it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m about to google them movie. Definitely looking forward to what I’ll see.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. robgradens says:

        It’s funny. Seigner is either on the train or in a lobby with the book. She says to Johnny Depp, “I like books” and hands it to him. He reads the title aloud… It’s a good horror flick, if you like the genre. Happy viewing.


  2. Definitely a classic book that is still relevant today! Some principles just don’t change and I have learned that extending positive energy towards others is nearly always beneficial.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Definitely. Be selfless, provide value to others and always be altruistic. Look for win-win situations!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.” – what about if it’s something that you want them to do?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Nicole! Dale Carnegie explains that you should try not to openly criticize or condemn. When they do what you want them to do, celebrate and congratulate their every success. Instead of giving direct orders, you should ask questions and present them with ideas. Talk about your own mistakes first.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Very nice. I think there’s a word for that in psychology – appearing to be vulnerable makes one likeable. Researcher Elliot Aronson at the University of Texas, Austin first discovered this phenomenon when he studied how simple mistakes can affect perceived attraction.

        He asked male students from the University of Minnesota to listen to tape recordings of people taking a quiz.

        When people did well on the quiz but spilled coffee at the end of the interview, the students rated them higher on likability than when they did well on the quiz and didn’t spill coffee or didn’t do well on the quiz and spilled coffee.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. This reminds me of the way we perceive small animals when they make mistakes like falling down. We think their clumsiness is cute. I’ll have to find a youtube video about the research study!


  4. Was jus reading this. Great summary.


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